Snapshots from a life: 4. Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking

When deadlines pile up and all seem to fall on the same day, or you know that tomorrow is going to stretch you thin and test your limits, how often do you have a mini panic attack? Do you end up getting a good night's sleep? I know that I lay in bed with my thoughts racing, glancing occasionally at the clock only to watch my hours of sleep disappear before my eyes (which of course stresses me more). This particular chapter is one that I am still trying really hard to follow, but have not quite gotten the hang of yet. It's a tough one.

I usually start with something small, "Don't forget to grab a snack tomorrow, you don't have a long break to eat." Before I know it, I'm worrying about every little detail of the upcoming day. Where I end up is usually somewhere along the lines of, "I will never be able to get it all done, I should just quit now. Why did I let myself get into this situation? I'm not good/smart/___ enough for this. I should just drop out and move home." On my really bad days, I sometimes even let my thoughts dig me into a deeper "pit of despair".

This isn't just a problem for people with depression, everyone can allow their thoughts to take them down this dangerous spiral. Lately I've been getting better and better at catching myself sooner. Reassuring myself that I CAN handle anything that I need to. You can too. It is your job to prove to the world that you ARE good enough. If you don't believe it, then why should anyone else?

The book suggests putting a notepad by your bed. When you remember something, write it down and go to sleep. Stop your worrying right there. For me, I take it a step further. When I know that tomorrow will be exceedingly difficult, or I feel myself start to spiral, I get a piece of paper and write out a list or schedule of my day or week. Looking at it all planned out makes it seem do-able. Having a step by step list to follow (and check off when accomplished) the next day is also wonderful.